Self-Defeating Behaviors

Why do we self-sabotage? When we know what's right, why do we choose the opposite? Self-defeating behavior happens in all areas of our lives. Fear often plays an underlying role. Sometimes we do this unconsciously; other times, we know exactly what we're doing and continue anyway.

How many times have you said, "Screw it"? That acknowledgment was your inner voice nudging you toward the correct choice.

The Influence of the Ego

Whether it's a simple decision or a grand gesture, we always receive the right direction from our internal guidance system. When we know there is a better choice but choose the opposite, we make a self-sabotaging decision. Our ego is usually behind self-defeating choices.

When we choose to drink alcohol instead of the same-tasting non-alcoholic choice, we are declining the inner knowing that a healthier option is available. When we choose to watch the news in place of reading empowering books, we are making a conscious choice.

Of course, everything in moderation. Sometimes any choice can be acceptable. The question we need to ask ourselves is: how bad do we want it? Want what, you ask? To be the best version of yourself, for starters. To become the healthiest version you can be is another common goal we humans strive for. Becoming successful—in wealth, in love, in happiness, and in the other areas we say we desire. If you're reading these words, you desire a great life. If you didn't care, you'd be doing something else right now.

Paying Attention to the Call

We may not always know exactly what we want, but when something inside us keeps getting our attention, it's best to pay attention. Why do you think those thoughts? Where do they come from? The soul knows.

You feel the call to become healthier, but the tests keep showing up:

• Do you choose pizza over salad?
• Are you watching TV instead of exercising?
• Are you working to uncover why depressed feelings continue to overwhelm you, or are you masking them with food, drugs, or alcohol?

Being human is not an easy mission. We have too many choices. This is where our "why" plays a crucial role. Do you want to be better for your family? Are you feeling called to live your life's purpose? Knowing why you want something can be the greatest motivating factor.

Breaking Free from Autopilot

We humans are born with the free will to choose. If we are unconscious in the decisions we make, life will keep happening to us. If we want life to work for us, we need to be more conscious of the everyday choices we make. We make hundreds of simple decisions every day, even though many of these decisions are the same ones we made yesterday.

Is your life on autopilot? Are you stuck in the familiar? When we get so caught up in routines, there is no room for change or growth. Choosing the familiar option can be self-defeating.

Shake things up by intentionally taking a different route home from work or choosing to eat something new tonight. Decide to disconnect from social media for a week. See how you feel; pay attention to your body. We may have been going through the motions of our routine for so long that we subconsciously become scared of change. We often say we want things to be different, but we never give anything new a chance to take hold. Our habits are so ingrained into our being that we become robotic in our ways. Can you predict what your tomorrow is going to look like? Have you ever been spontaneous? Change is not always easy; I get it.

The Compounding Effect of Choices

Do you really think that it should take a rock-bottom experience to be the catalyst for the change you want to see in your life? Knowing what would serve you best and then choosing the opposite is a self-sabotaging behavior. Little, simple, mundane choices add up. The compounding effect builds momentum.

Choosing a burger and fries over fish and rice, for example, swings us in an unhealthy direction. Choosing comfort food regularly negatively affects the body. We are all busy. Between our jobs and our family responsibilities, our spare time is a limited resource. When we choose to spend our limited free time on that which doesn't serve us, there is no one to blame when we fall short of our life's goals.

Taking Control of Your Growth

If you want to become more spiritually enlightened, turn off the radio and listen to an educational podcast. Read an enlightening book rather than watching reality television. If you feel that there is more to life than what your external reality is showing you, you're right. What we see with our eyes is a projection of our internal state.

We have to do the work. Make it your mission to allow new actions into your life. Choose to stop hindering your growth by consciously choosing the more impactful path. Stop blaming others for what you don't have. Stop shooting yourself in the foot with self-defeating behaviors.

You know the healthier choices. Inside, you know what decision will serve your growth; choose it. Own it. Take control. Cut out the things holding you back. We can change our behaviors at any time. Don't wait for external circumstances to change. You have the power within you to create the reality of your dreams. Why wait? Shift the little things, and big things can happen. Believe in yourself. The choices are yours to make. You control your behaviors.